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You got to kiss Johnny Depp, but you didn't make the most of it. Who wouldn't be kicking themselves?

Looking back, Eva Mendes can't help thinking that she missed out in 'Once Upon a Time in Mexico' when she snogged Depp on screen. "All of my screen kisses have been the best," said Mendes recently — in a breath-taking display of 'I so love everything' celeb gushing.

But, she continues, "I regret not kissing Johnny for longer… It was the first time I had worked with an actor who I had a crush on as a little girl." Ooh, Johnny — that's got to hurt! When she was a little girl? Yeah, good work, Eva; you not only failed to capitalise on kissing him, but now you're making him sound like a fossil. No more Depp kisses for you!

Want more star horror? You got it. Word is that 'The O.C.'s Rachel Bilson landed up at the Christian Louboutin party held by Saks Fifth Avenue wearing the very same pair of Louboutins as fellow unexciting starlet party-goer Kristen Bell!

"We realised we were wearing the same shoes!" squeals Bilson. Thank goodness, she was able to prevent utter disaster: "I did a one-two switcheroo and put on my other favourite pair!"

Wow, what a massive relief. I mean, what would fellow guests like Ashley Olsen and 'Heroes' cheerleader Hayden Panettiere have thought? It doesn't bear thinking about.

I'm not sure I can bear thinking about the reported cost of Kate Moss's new London pad either. She's apparently just dropped a full £7-million (almost R95-million!) on the property. And, as if that's not brain-melting enough, it seems this is without her even having sold her current £3.25-million (just under R44-million) house in North London.

But, ja, even a horrifying, supermodel-sized fortune doesn't buy you a decent boyfriend. The reason Kate's trying to get shot of her gorgeous three-bedroom place is because of its lousy Pete Doherty-infused memories. Come on, though, who can blame her for getting into that relationship? No-one could have predicted that hooking up with a massively unreliable heroin addict would lead to disaster…

Speaking of disaster — Britney Spears seems dead keen on crashing the plane of her life ever further into the ground, if that's possible.

Tanning-salon trips not helping enough with custody tug-of-war misery… What else to do but get one's lips puffed up? Poor, embattled Britney has reportedly just gone to an upmarket LA plastic surgeon to get injections to pouf up her lips. Thing is, she was going for subtle — not puffer fish.

TRIXY HONORÉ

(pronounced On-or-ay) delights in the candyfloss vacuousness of celebrity gossip. Living in New York City, Trixy keeps an eye out for the rich and famous of the Big Apple as she hunts for great vintage clothing and tries to balance the joys of both style and substance. She is a firm believer in nice manners, wrist-length gloves and the greatness of television.

Got something to say about Bitch and Famous? Email her!

Also recently divorced, and with two young kids, life isn't all chocolate and puppies for Reese Witherspoon — but then there've been those persistent rumours about her getting together with her 'Rendition' co-star Jake Gyllenhaal. Nope, not so, insists Reese — they really are just good friends.

"I've known Jake for years through different friends and he's just wonderful," admits Reese — but that's absolutely as far as it goes. Still, she does remark: "He's very kind and funny. It's been nice to laugh a little bit. Yeah, he's great and I look forward to maybe making another film with him."

It's those 'must effusively praise co-star' and 'only good friends' celebrity imperatives fighting it out with one another.

As hot as Gyllenhaal is (and whether or not there is really anything with him and Reese) he's still not the star who got Witherspoon most flustered when she worked with him. The man she was truly daunted to be acting alongside was Matthew Broderick!

"I'd grown up watching his films," says Reese of her co-star in 1999's 'Election', "and I always thought he was so funny. He has that wonderful wry comic wit… he was an icon and I had a crush on him when I was little." More with the 'you're so old' comments!

"I used to think he was so cute," carried on Witherspoon. But, she says: "I certainly never told his wife." Uh, yeah, Reese — I kind of think Sarah Jessica Parker's going to find out now…