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Hopefully — improbable as it is — Paris and Benji will actually manage to stay in it for the long haul. And one day, after a decent-length relationship, rather than a six-month fling, they could do the Beyonce-and-Jay-Z thing are actually get married (instead of the usual starlet engagement cancelling). Then again, I'm thinking that that's about as likely as Paris selling as many albums as Beyonce and Jay-Z combined. Yup, as I'm sure you know, Bouncy and J-Z tied the knot this past Friday in New York City. But while things are all loads of love for the super-happy newlyweds — there are no violins and roses in the world of Britney and Kevin, despite the very odd gossip. Talk was that Britney Spears was to be reunited with ex-husband Kevin Federline on a romantic Hawaiian trip! Seriously. K-Fed has nixed the rumours, his rep insisting the story is "not true". The US's Star magazine, however, claims that the couple rekindled the spark over Easter and that, "Kevin wants to take Britney away to see if there is anything to salvage between them. When he suggested it to her, she told him she was ready to go anytime he was." I have just a little bit of a hard time believing that. I have an even harder time believing how amazingly adept celebs are at staying out of jail (Paris and Nicole excepted). Misha Barton for one got out of prison time by paying a fine and agreeing to other terms, in settlement of her arrest for driving under the influence and possessing marijuana. Tragically, though, Pete Doherty has of course ended his run of colossally good fortune, ending up with a brief behind-bars sentence. But I still maintain that he counts on the 'I can't believe they're not in the slammer' side, given that he's been arrested just about weekly for as long as I can remember for possessing everything from smack to coke, and any number of other charges thrown in there — not to mention repeatedly failing to show up when due in court — and this is only the second time he's actually had to go to jail. And I rest my case with Naomi Campbell who, staggeringly, is not sitting in a cell somewhere in some hideously non-designer prison overalls. I say staggeringly, since Naomi has not only hurled her cellphone at a number of employees, had anger issues that would have made Vlad the Impaler nervous and been sued more than cigarette manufacturers — but she just recently got arrested for assaulting a police officer in the UK! Why did she do it? A fight over luggage at Heathrow. She's currently out on bail, but it looks as if she won't be charged with aggravated felony — though she could well have been for spitting at a police officer as she's alleged to have done. That's lucky for her, especially since a conviction could have nixed chances of getting a USA visa, making it impossible to take up lucrative modelling contracts in the States. Most likely Naomi's going to be let off with just a caution. I mean, come on, be fair — it's not as if she's likely to, er, do it again or anything. More star depravity and privilege — in next week's Bitch and Famous... but in the meantime, I'll see you on Facebook!
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