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Bill Flynn * Rainbow Worrier (Gallo) Bill Flynn has always been a regular hero kind of guy and winning the Celebrity Big Brother recently (against admittedly useless opposition) only furthered his cause. His secret is that he knows his audience very well and this album is a veritable Trojan Horse of bad taste aimed straight at the heart of the God-fearing Huisgenoot demographic who like to spend their money on booze, braaivleis and kak CDs.

On the one hand, this CD is a voice for the common man – it puts to words every white, Afrikaans guy’s daily strife, troubles and issues. It talks about the perils of Gauteng (in the Annelie van Rooyen-flavoured ‘Ek Bewe’), cellphones (‘Lui Lui Selfoon’), wild women (‘Hanna Met Die Tande’ – where Hanna is apparently a dog) and traffic cops (‘Ek Laaik Die Spietkops’). Quite a range of ‘styles’ are represented here, but the focus is mostly on the sakkie-sakkie shuffle. Some might call it ‘windsurfing’, but for some it’s as much a way of life as Tupac is to gangsters in PE. A bizarre highlight is the filthy cheese-rock of ‘Vegkop’, which successfully welds oom-bashing tannies, crimplene, make-up and bar fights into a nightmarish hotel story that could’ve been created by Quentin Tarantino.

On the other hand, this is the kind of music that perpetuates a bubble-gum (or beergut) music buyers’ market, leaving very little room for more credible artists. Bill Flynn is really like Britney Spears, only she is hot, can sing and doesn’t rip off other people’s tunes (as much). Bill doesn’t write his own lyrics – a chap called Lourens Fourie does. When he doesn’t borrow other artists’ music, a guy called Bobby Louw comes up with these little Hullets sachet-style synthetic tunes which deserve about as much artistic merit as melting ice cream on a hot tar road. All in all, this makes for a hit-making factory to rival Rogers & Hammerstein. Or Phil Spector.

If you approach ‘Rainbow Worrier’ as an item of pure pop entertainment, then you’ll probably dig it. But if you’re looking for something more from your music (such as: credibility, style and artistic merit), then steer well clear, for this is a cesspit of something unspeakable. I hate to say ‘The Devil’, but there you have it.

Because resistance is futile, or at the very least, not profitable, the best you can do is to pray that not too many people will take money from their Lotto expenditure and invest it in this pyramid scheme. ‘Rainbow Worrier’ is indeed, worrying.