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Vader Krismis in Bedrog-Skok
PARYS - Kort voor spertyd gister kon bevestig word dat Vader Krismis wel skuldig is aan grootskaalse bedrog sedert so vroeg as ten minste die laat 1500s...

Soundtrack of a year I can't remember very well
Well allright. The year before the year zero, and you want me to talk about a soundtrack. This is my annual tequila day, and you want me to talk about a soundtrack. Jesus Christ, are you incredibly wrong. This is obviously the story of my own soundtrack, so sorry, no addendum B with quoted lyrics from Britney Spears or Just Jinger...

Girls in red, Jesus and five bottles of Tas (that became seven)
48 hours in the Klein Karoo, Oudtshoorn, the most happening festival in the country since the Koedoe-drolspoeg competition at the Bosveldfees in Ellisras. 4 people, 4 presspasses, 5 bottles of Tas, 5 girls in red, 2 guys from the telly...

Oppikoppi - in search of salvation (and Steers)
Nostalgia, is what returning to the place is all about. Maybe because I've mixed girls and music here before, with great consequences. Maybe because I've shaped friendships here that will be part of my wrinkles until I die. Maybe because the music performed here tells me something about myself. Fuckit all, Oppikoppi is still the finest thing you can do with spare days of your life in August...

KK*K stories from the fifth beer barrier
Upon my return, basic services have broken down. There's no toilet paper, tea or coffee. Fresh milk is a myth, not heard of for more than ten days. My digsmates have taken in three female French exchange students, harbouring them from the cold and lonely autumn nights. They are pretending to understand some French. There's kissing going on. It's infuriating...

Jim White, The Handsome Family
The Barbican Hall's a smart place, kind of like the Nico (ag I mean Artscape) if you could imagine it being glamorous there. From tonight onwards it will host the Beyond Nashville concert series, further exposing the past decade's burgeoning so-called alt.country/Americana (yes, I know, 'or whatever') scene to larger and larger crowds. If you can ignore the weirdness of seeing twisted 'for real' country/folk/rock/pop music being marketed as if it's a really good new chocolate bar, then tonight is the start of something really good....

How many hours 'till the first Hansie joke? About 10.
It happened almost a week ago now, last Saturday. For some it will go by unnoticed, others will always, especially when drunk somewhere thinking of the 'good times', recall where they were when The News Came. Anyway, Hansie is dead and it closes a chapter on something, whatever that was. A kindly reminder of what we've done to sport heroes and how much apparent 'meaning' we can draw from their lives...

REVIEWS
Charango
The thing is, this is not as crap as people who own DJ Shadow albums will tell you. It’s a lot better than crap, even good. When Morcheeba dropped ‘Who Can You Trust?’ (1996) on us, we were not only young and easy to influence, but it actually was a good record too.

Rainbow Worrier
Bill Flynn has always been a regular hero kind of guy and winning the Celebrity Big Brother recently (against admittedly useless opposition) only furthered his cause. His secret is that he knows his audience very well and this album is a veritable Trojan Horse of bad taste aimed straight at the heart of the God-fearing Huisgenoot demographic who like to spend their money on booze, braaivleis and kak CDs.

Grind
Ignore the regulation Barney Simon sleeve note, calling on all young 'uns to "not care about anything, abuse your health", yet still, "don't take drugs!" The one really is the other, right?

Various Artists
** (2 stars)
Kiss FM Volume 03 - Mixed by Manuel
(Gallo/DGR)
So there you were, late one Friday night, stumbling out of your favourite trendy bar somewhere in a trendy part of town where you've been trying to groove to something indecipherable that must've been cool, because all the cool people were there.

Various Artists
(** - 2 Stars)
Homegrown - 19 of South Africa's Best Bands
(EMI)
Firstly, the sleeve design of this CD is very shit, immediately giving it negative marks. Surely someone somewhere along the production line must've noticed the same? SA artists make good music and deserve to be sold in a good package.

FICTION
Meneer Van Heerden Mis Sy Squash Game
Voëltjies tjirp-tjirp in die takke, mal en ongehoorsaam soos 'n country band met banjos en kak teen die halfuur voor dagbreek. Honde draf vir oulaas in die buurt rond, kort voor hulle hul poste as waghonde hervat, naai hulle nog vir oulaas die bitch op die hoek. Ja, selfs daai Labrador met die goeie geaardheid. Dis veral hy wat die pimp is. Die ander honde noem hom Barry White. 'n Troppie tarentale hop een-een en ligswart uit die bome langs die parkie, pik-pik hulle tone skoon en begin solank opstap fabriek toe, toebroodjies en flessies onder die arms. Die begin van nog 'n lang dag....