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Lyndall Gordon’s Shared Lives: Growing up in 50’s Cape Town, revises her memoir of life and friendships formed as a young student entering the Good Hope School within the shadows of Lion’s Head.

Expecting to hear the naïve voices and experiences of living in a bygone era that was dominated by racial integration I was disappointed. The setting of the book could in-fact have been anywhere in the world, telling the story of a group of young girls who Gordon describes as, “… the last virgins...”; the last generation in our History embarrassed to discuss sex publicly, and who expected and even demanded virginal brides.

There are snippets of reference to Apartheid South Africa, including Steve Biko, and Sharpeville, but you never get to see or feel how these events impacted on these young woman. It was not enough to just hear about their daily lives. It wasn’t sufficient to read the diary extracts of Ms Gordon where she observes. “…the sadistic fanaticism creeping over the country and the growing madness of power amongst Nationalists who suppress the vast majority of the population.” I wanted to hear politically what they did or didn’t do during this time, and for this I feel the memoir is lacking.

What the book does do well is to convey a lifestyle that no longer exists. Exploring for example the archaic approach of marriage before reaching the ripe old age of 21. The friends grew up with the understanding that once educated; their futures would already be mapped out for them. They were expected to procure a husband who was preferably nice, sound, reliable, and above all came complete with a positive financial future, or even better, a ready-made fortune. In an amusing snippet Romy – the central character -declares that she passed up on a marriage because the diamond in the engagement ring wasn’t big enough.

The art of letter writing and diaries is also very evident. With much of the book based on memories gained from re-reading these sources, of which many extracts are included. It’s fascinating reading - albeit slightly voyeuristic - being allowed to share the private emotions and dreams that spill out of the personal writings; written in the typical awfully-awfully British stiff upper lip manner of those times.

But the crux of the book is the tragic death of the young enigma Romy. Romy is the butterfly. She flies herself around the world, experiencing the diverse cultures of Israel, Europe and America, allowing herself to successfully dodge the prospect of commitment and forming roots. It appears as if she’s continually searching for something, but never really knowing what it is. Indeed it’s a question her friends ponder after her death as they try to unravel her short life. And perhaps this is why Ms Gordon chose to write this book, as a way to find the real Romy, and to gain closure.

Throughout the book there are comparisons and references to characters found in the classics such as Bronte, Elliot and Austen. So if you’re not a reader of the Classics you might be wondering aloud “who?”. But don’t be put off by this, the book is beautifully written, with each chapter covering a period or event, such as Families, Partners, Experiments and Changes. It also gives a great in-sight into Jewish traditions and the un-conditional bonds formed between friends and families.

Shared Lives is a valuable read for anybody looking to understand woman born in the early 50’s.

Lyndall Gordon is a critically acclaimed biographer, having won several distinguished awards for her Biographies on the likes of T.S. Eliot, Virginia Woolf, Charlotte Bronte and Henry James.