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Welcome to the Halloween/US election edition of Cult de Sac. You should know by now that this is my favourite time of the year. It’s a time for dark thoughts and wicked deeds. So what better time to elect a politician’s ageing arse to the most powerful seat in the world?

And no, it’s not Ted Turner’s office chair — it’s time for the rumble in the colon, the showdown of the lowdown, the war to end all wars — the US Presidential Elections 2004.

Last year I paid homage to John Carpenter’s classic ‘Halloween’. But this year I thought I’d ratchet the fright-metre up a notch and scour the film library for something truly shocking, truly terrifying and just plain bloody gruesome.

So forget Freddy, never mind Norman Bates and dismiss the dickhead in the hockey mask, this Halloween season get ready for the fright of your lives. Get ready for George Dubya!

Now I know what you’re thinking — George is a name that strikes flatulence in the gut, rather than fear in the heart. But then all the best movie monsters have seemingly normal names; Fred, Norman, and Jason.

So I’ve found something more frightening than Frankenstein, blacker than the Creature from self-named Lagoon, more vicious than the Wolfman and more disturbing than, well the most disturbing monster you can think of.

I’m talking about ‘Fahrenheit 9/11'.

You don’t look convinced: "‘Fahrenheit 9/11’, a monster movie?" I hear you say.

It has all the vital ingredients of a classic horror: the madman, his henchman, dissenting villagers and unremitting violence. What it doesn’t have in the tradition of the great Universal horror is a tasty woman and the eccentric director is James Whale.

Problem though is picking out the cast members. Is Bush the Cheneystein monster? Or is he Igor, the hunchbacked pop-eyed half-wit of a sidekick. That would make Dick Cheney the mad scientist and Bush his creation, and presiding over everything Donald Rumsfeld as the dark overlord.

No spooky castles in this film though, just the White House and the Saudi Arabian embassy.

Moore’s movie is not as has been suggested a documentary. It’s too pointed, too conveniently edited to be a doccie. But if it isn’t a documentary then what is it?

It’s a B-movie monster classic is what it is.

Even Bush’s pet pooch looks slightly evil in this film.

Moore takes a series of pot shots at Dubya, which are above board, because Moore is a card-carrying National Rifle Association member. And he isn’t short of ammo either.

The film starts with the notorious 2000 Florida recount, in which it appeared Democrat Al Gore had won.

Wrong.

Nothing is as it seems and (depending on your view) Bush won/stole the presidency.

So George is in office and what happens? As Moore has it, the Saudi Bin Laden family, who’ve been doing business with the Bush family for years, take a monstrous bite out of the Big Apple, in the form of the 9/11 attacks.

However, as the Bush administration has it, it was the work of the black sheep of the family, Osama. You can say what you like about unlikely names, but he’s probably the most infamous man on the planet.

Of course that’s not the way Moore sees it. He doesn’t forgive the act of striking the Twin Towers. But it would be interesting to gauge the opinions of the world as to who poses the biggest risk to world security. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Bush’s name up there on the list.

The film then continues to assert that Bush launched a ‘terror’ campaign to gain favour for the inevitable revenge attack on Saddam Hussein and Iraq.

What emerges is a picture of a man, not altogether dissimilar from Frankenstein’s monster. Bush is painted inane, inarticulate and ruthless.

Bush's arch enemy, Osama, is also, at the close of the film, still at large. The 'terror campaign' aimed at capturing the wayward son is floundering as the monster deflects his attention to rounding up his support at home for an even more grisly sequel.

The difference is Frankenstein’s monster just wanted to have a picnic at the edge of a lake and be one of the guys. In ‘Fahrenheit 9/11’ Bush sheds his humane skin and does his best to be the monster.

There is of course one fundamental difference between a horror movie and Bush’s time at the helm: horror films never killed anyone, at least not for real.

And of course, horror film stars never become the most powerful (read dangerous) men in the world. So watch ‘Fahrenheit 9/11’, but don’t watch it alone.

As Geena Davis said of Jeff Goldblum in David Cronenberg’s The Fly — “be afraid, be very afraid”.

See you next time (hopefully).