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Welcome back — you’ll have to excuse the state of the cellar — I’m still wading through piles of 70’s blood and offal. This week it’s the turn of a remake of ‘Dawn of the Dead’, directed by relative newcomer Zack Snyder.

Andrew's obsession with cult films began at midnight at the age of ten, and involved a bowl of popcorn, an old television set and John Carpenter's Halloween. Little has changed since then, besides age, the popcorn and the fact that he can now climb dark stairwells after a horror movie by himself. Andrew is a published writer of horror fiction, a screenwriter and a freelance journalist. His time is spent largely in pursuit of a truly original horror film. Failing that he has threatened to make his own.

Snyder had some pretty big shoes to fill remaking George A. Romero’s 1978 landmark horror. Of course no-one can be quite whatever size of shoes uncle George wears. Shoes aside, ‘Dawn of the Dead’ was the film that put horror movies on the A-list of theatre circuits.

Despite the hard act to follow, though, I was impressed with Snyder’s film. It’s honest, fast paced and he cracked open just the right number of blood bags.

For those unfamiliar with the story — the world has gone to pot and suburban America is suddenly teeming with neighbours who selfishly refuse to stay dead and return for human flesh. It’s less a case of keeping up with the Jones’s than it is eating up the Jones’s. Here’s a tip — if your neighbour pops round for a cup of sugar and he’s blue in the face, drooling and wide-eyed — best not let him in.

Anyway, a small band of survivors manage to hole up inside a shopping mall and the fight for continued survival is on.

I said the film is honest and it is — honestly disgusting; as any self-respecting zombie movie should be. And it differs from the original in quite a number of ways. Firstly the zombies themselves. They no longer simply lurch slowly and meaninglessly about like politicians in the middle of a crisis. They run, they jump and they sound like wildcats with a serious case of laryngitis.

Interesting zombie facts about Dawn of the Dead to munch on Special effects wizard Tom Savini not only did the make up for the first film, he starred as the leader of the bike gang. He’s back in this version as the sheriff who utters the immortal words: “Ya shoot ‘em in the head”. Tom Savini’s links to Romero go further back. Romero gave him his first job after he got back from Vietnam. Savini returned the favour by directing a tight and respectable remake of 'Night of the Living Dead' in 1990. It deserved a better response from the film-going public. The first bit of shopping mall muzak the survivors hears on entering the place is Bobby McFerrin’s ‘Don’t Worry be Happy’.

I’m not one for over-analysis (“Yeah right!” they cry!) but, believe it or not, the original film is widely regarded as one of the punchiest satires on American consumerism. Romero’s agonisingly slow pans of the shopping mall add to the isolation the characters go through.

The zombies are really just a backdrop for the film — even in death they’re drawn to the mall like mindless consumer freaks. The zombies are a device for the human dramas that unfurl inside the mall, especially with the arrival of the conquering biker gang. Put it up on the shelf with the likes of ‘Assault on Precinct 13’ — it’s great siege drama.

Snyder, though, dispenses with the niceties and piles on the zombies and the chainsaws. It’s not as silly as it sounds. The nicely-lit pregnant woman and her unexpected arrival are chillling. Nice touch — snuff said.

The film is about survival of the fittest — and even though there is a love interest — it’s merely suggested. There is, of course, the obligatory sex scene but it’s at the beginning and through a pebble-dashed shower door so it’s acceptable. I’d normally say no to sex in a zombie film. It’s not hygienic.

Snyder decides to go for the entertainment vein and he hits it with great accuracy splashing the audience in a glut of zombie splendour.

Fans of the original will be disappointed to hear that the screwdriver in the ear of workman zombie isn’t in. Neither is the zombie getting the top of his head lopped off by helicopter rotor blades. Still, you can’t have everything.

My one big complaint though is a continuity issue. The antagonistic head of security at the mall resents the arrival of the newcomers and locks them up. They in turn lock him up, but then in the second reel the guy’s suddenly — and inexplicably — buddies with everyone.

Apart from that, Snyder has made a remake I can live with. Like these…a list of my favourite and most hated (in no particular order)…

Top Ten Best Remakes

• Psycho (dir: Gus van Sant 1998) – a novel and more vulgar carbon copy of the classic. I bought a copy – I’m not ashamed!
• Cruel Intentions (dir: Roger Kumble 1999) – updated version of Dangerous Liaisons.
• Great Expectations (dir: Alfonso Cuaron 1998)
• The Fly (dir:David Cronenberg 1986)
• The Thing (dir: John Carpenter 1982) - classic remake of a classic 50’s classic – The Thing From Another World.
• Night of the Living Dead (dir: Tom Savini 1990) - snuff said, Savini knows his way around a graveyard.
• Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht (dir: Werner Herzog 1979) - Kinski is the master of weirdness in this remake of the German expressionist masterpiece.
• Little Shop of Horrors (dir: Frank Oz 1986) - Roger Corman’s quirky great set to music – what more do you want?
• The Untouchables (dir: Brian de Palma 1987) - technically a remake of a TV series concept. Still great acting by de Niro and Connery bring this one right off the page.

The Shit List

• Planet of the Apes (dir: Tim Burton 2001) - it pains me to say this because I love his work.
• The Stuff (dir: Larry Cohen 1986)
• Invasion of the Bodysnatchers (dir: Phil Kaufmann 1978)
• Invaders from Mars (dir: Tobe Hooper 1986) - should have stopped with the saw.
• Hollow Man (dir: Paul Verhoeven 2000) - the Invisible Man becomes a rapist and, worse still, he’s Kevin Bacon. What would Claude Raines think?

Got your list of best and worst? Send them to me.

Until next time.

The answer to last week’s Cult de Sac meaningless trivia question:
Ed Gein,who also inspired films like 'The Silence of the Lambs' and 'Deranged'.

This week’s Cult de Sac meaningless trivia question:
George Romero also directed a collaborative film with the likes of Stephen King and Tom Savini. Can you name it? Can you come up with a good enough reason to take a Black and Decker power drill with you on a first date?

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Feel free to disagree with all of the above and contact me with ideas, suggestions and abuse. I’m open to all three, although I do prefer qualified abuse.