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Being an F1 fan means commitment. It means getting up at strange times of the night to watch 22 cars going round a track for close on two hours.

But the way I see it is that not only are we exercising our vocal chords when screaming at the drivers or stewards or flatmates to stop asking silly questions but we're also contributing to the coffee growers by consuming copious amounts of Columbia's finest.

So Sunday morning I armed myself with a steaming brew, hid the remote control so I couldn't be asked to turn the volume down and wrapped myself in the warmth that only comes from F1. And Malaysia certainly was warm!

Reading the forum last week I was more than a little amused by a comment made about Alonso's (and indeed Renault's) world championship victories being nothing more than a fluke and that a certain Mr Schumacher was the true champion.

Well Malaysia proved that Renault is a force to be reckoned with, and Fisichella can also produce the goods. Fernando Alonso was the unlucky driver this weekend (because Renault insist on making their drivers work really hard for their salaries) when his car was double-fuelled for the race.

But instead of acting like a spoilt brat Ferdie drove his tail off and ended on the second step of the podium right next to team-mate Fisi who proudly listened to the Italian anthem being played in his honour. The native Roman deserves all the accolades that he gets and he will no doubt be celebrating in a big way with the entire Renault outfit. Hmm, considering the fitness levels of these boys I wonder how many shots of Grappa it would take to get them to remove their overalls?

The final place on the podium belonged to Jenson Button. So that's another start to add to his list and another non-win. There are days when I wish that Jens would hurry up and win a race just so that the Brit commentators would stop with the 'if only's' — 'If only he had had a better outlap he would surely have won the race', 'If only the mechanics had gotten him out of the pits quicker he would have won the race…

But then if Button was to win the race the commentators would probably start saying things along the lines of 'If only he had won a race sooner he would be the world champion' and 'If only his team-mate had supported him better than surely he would have won the championship!'

Enough! Or as the Italians put it: basta!

Jenson hasn't won a single race and he hasn't won a championship either so, until he does, please can we stop with all the 'what if's'?

Oh yes, Rubens finished in 10th as he is apparently still learning about how to set-up his car — he's been in the sport for years, you'd think he would have learnt by now.

McLaren nightmare

It was another nightmare for the McLaren boys — Kimi got tagged by the Red Bull of Christian Klien, resulting in a rear suspension failure which saw him make friends with the tyre wall. Since Kimi's conversational skills are more than a little limited I have no doubt that he and the wall will become best mates. Klien didn't quite get away with the move on Kimi and had to retire too.

It is understandable that Kimi is frustrated but he is not entirely blameless and perhaps McLaren would have more success with a driver who is less brooding — someone like Jackie Villeneuve (pre-April Fools joke).

Montoya had another uninspiring afternoon and if he is trying to convince his baby son not to become an F1 driver then he is doing a fabulous job because young Sebastian would probably much rather have an afternoon nap than watch Pappi. Krispy Kreme's favourite customer finished in fourth.

Onto Ferrari — before the race started eight teams informed the stewards that they would potentially be protesting against Ferrari's flexible front wing which is in contravention of the rules. I'm all for stretching the rules to their absolute limits but if you don't want to get caught then try not to make it so obvious. Just because Uncle Max has Ferrari tattooed on his left buttock does not mean that he can just modify the rules because Ferrari wants a flexible wing.

The scarlet pimpernels have agreed to modify the wing for Australia and it that isn’t an admission of guilt then I don’t know what is! Both Michael and Massa had engine changes so started far down the grid but both drivers did rather well to finish in sixth and fifth respectively although it is a wonder that Ferrari didn’t order Felipe to move over. Or maybe they did but Massa had a sudden radio 'failure' and didn't hear them? Who knows?

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