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F1 COLUMNS
RENAULT :2 FERRARI : 0
MICHELIN : 2 BRIDGESTONE : 0

Malaysia is renowned for being one of the toughest races on the calendar with track temperatures climbing to close on the 500C mark. The Michelin tyres like heat, the Bridgestones don't which became glaringly obvious throughout the race. So who were the big winners and losers on the day?

Jacques Villeneuve blamed his dreadful performance in Australia on a poor tyre choice. So what was the problem this time because surely it couldn't possibly have been his driving skill. It's time for the baggy-overalled French-Canadian to be sent out to pasture so that he can spend his time doing something he's really good at - like playing play station games and harping on about his inherent dislike of the media. Mr Sauber, if you have any shred of decency please will you do the admirable thing and stop 'Jackie' from humiliating himself regularly and just sack him! Needless to say, Massa finished the race albeit in 10th place with Villeneuve beached on the gravel like a pregnant whale.

Minardi are hardly worth a mention. The car looks horrible. The drivers look unhappy but at least Paul Stoddard is launching a business class-only airline due to take to the skies in Australia in August. Maybe he's hoping to raise additional funds so that he can actually do some research and development this season. Friesacher failed to finish the race (the only consolation being the fact that he gets a new engine for Bahrain) and Albers finished 13th (last of the drivers to actually cross the line).

You have to feel for Kimi Raikkonen. He is a superb driver and thankfully personality is not a prerequisite for driving ability. In Australia he stalled the engine on the grid and in this round he had a rear tyre failure. It could have been a podium finish for Kimi and a chance to save some face with Montoya but alas, 'tis was not to be. Kimi limped home in 9th place with Montoya rapidly become Ron Dennis's brown-eyed boy clinching the team a decent 5 points. If McLaren win a race this season will they celebrate with a Viking-themed party 'cause that's what the drivers look like with those aero-horns sticking out from the sides of the car.

Eddie Jordan was a real personality in the paddock but his cars were lack-lustre. Not much has changed except that Alex Schneider is definitely not as vociferous as Eddie and the reliability of the cars seems to have improved dramatically - both engines survived the heat of Malaysia and both drivers finished the race. Karthikeyan again having the measure of his team mate by finishing one slot ahead of him in 11th place.

BAR retired both cars in the final lap in Australia in order to utilise a loophole left wide open by the FIA and changed engines on both cars. Taku came down with a bug (must have been something he ate) and was replaced by Anthony Davidson who finally had a chance to shine in a car he knows backwards, forwards, inside and out. Glad to say that poetic justice does exist because both cars blew their engines within the first 10 laps. Jenson was not a happy boy - poor baby, wonder if fiancée Louise was on hand to kiss it all better?

Michael Schumacher looked like a spoilt child who wasn't allowed to play with his favourite toy and was teaching his 'parents' a lesson by being uncooperative and in this case just plain ol' slow! Starting from 13th on the grid he actually made up enough places to get his championship hopes off to a start - a piddly 2 points. The other spoilt child at Ferrari gave up because his tyres were not providing any grip and it was becoming too difficult too drive - no one ever said it was going to be easy, Ruby which is why you get paid more than the national debt of some third world countries.

Williams had mixed fortunes. Heidfeld ended up on the podium and was the only driver who looked even remotely excited about the champagne - but he did mention that his drinks bottle had failed so maybe he was just thirsty. Mark Webber was sitting right on Fisichella's tail when impatience stifled his common sense and he tried to squeeze Fisi out. The consequences were dire for both drivers as they had to retire from the race with each blaming the other for the incident. This little altercation is being investigated by the race stewards but will probably go down as a racing incident.

The red bull definitely had the measure of the prancing horse this weekend - bet Michael Schumacher wasn't expecting DC to be anywhere near him (unless he was lapping him of course). Christian Klien proved his mettle once more with a points finish to add to DC's 6th place. So what does it feel like to be a 30-something multi-millionaire running a successful F1 team? Please will someone give me Christian Horner's phone number so we can all find out what makes the man tick.

You gotta admire Jarno Trulli - a good mate of his was killed in an aircraft accident yet he still managed to pull a podium out of the bag. He kept on looking up to the heavens as if in tribute to his friend and refrained from spraying his champagne. Team mate Ralf must be feeling rather miffed to be trailing his former team mate once again. No matter what Ralf does, he just can't beat Juancho - get used to it Ralf because you will probably be seeing a lot more of the rear-end of that McLaren.

The day belonged to Renault once again with a superb drive from 23 year old Fernando Alonso. How long before Spain declare a national holiday dedicated to the youngster? You could not fault his drive - a win from the front of the grid. He looked a little worse for wear on the podium and appeared to have stepped right out of a sauna…..but then so did Flavio. Ferdi couldn't contain his excitement on the team radio when he shouted "yes, yes, we are number 1!" And so you are.

So now it's onto Bahrain. More heat, more humidity, more grape juice (non-alcoholic this time). Will Renault be able to make it a hat-trick or will one of the other Michelin-shod teams step up to the plate? Perhaps Ferrari will unveil the new car and perhaps Williams will be sporting another 14 new aero pieces. Tune in again in 2 weeks time to find out! Over and out.